626epic626, 35

35-year-old Army vet who spent four years stationed in Germany and somehow still found his way back to California—turns out pretzels and beer couldn’t compete with tacos and sunshine. I bring chill vibes, dry humor, and a habit of saying “Guten Tag” to my dog for no reason. If you want a guy who’s seen Europe but still complains about gas prices like a true Californian, I’m right here.